10 years ago, she found the strength to live her life as the badass woman she is.” Girl Crush, Man Crush, Bromance If you need to refer to someone’s transition, please qualify it this way: “Jane is a transgender woman. They haven’t changed, but your perspective needs to. Whether a person chooses to transition or change pronouns, they have likely always felt like the person they are telling you they are.
But we really don’t know for sure if they are a boy, girl, both, or neither until that person tells us. People are assigned gender at birth based on their genitalia. He was born a boy or he became a girl are not accurate for most transgender or gender fluid folks. This also leads into more phrases that are dated and should not be used. When the two labels do not match, a person may choose to transition socially, medically, and/or surgically to outwardly represent the gender they know to be their true self. Gender assignment/sex is between the legs. Someone who was assigned one gender at birth and then identifies as another is transgender. The word is not a noun or verb, it is an adjective. But well done clarifying your innocent comments and turning a compliment into an insult for the entire LGBTQ community. And thanks for making queer people feel less than and like shit. You are insecure about your sexuality and don’t want to be confused to be anything but 1,000% straight. “Ooooo! I like how our boobs touched when we hugged in no homo kind of way.” “OMFG, Jill, your ass looks great in those jeans. “No homo, Matt, but your girlfriend is one lucky chick to have you.” Here are a couple of examples between men:
The goal is to make sure everyone knows you are not homosexual. No Homoįor some reason, it is still an awful thing to be gay, so men and women qualify compliments or potentially homosexual double-entendres to people of the same gender by adding “no homo” to their statements. The insult is rooted in homophobia, as if the act of one man sucking another man’s penis is something awful and as if the man sucking said penis is deserving of negativity and degradation. Yet men are quick to call other men cocksuckers like it’s a bad thing. I have yet to hear a cisgender straight man complain about a woman sucking cock. And we need to stop comparing despicable people with a loving act often enjoyed between two men. We need to stop equating abuse with pleasure. We need to stop using cocksucker as an insult. When you use the word butthurt, you look like a homophobic asshat who is justifying domination, intimidation, and rape. There is nothing wrong with a dude taking it in the ass or admitting that it feels good. And if not knowingly mocking anal rape, the person using butthurt for all of their comebacks is also degrading consensual anal sex between two people, most likely gay men.
To use the word butthurt as a way to mock someone who is whining is also mocking anal rape, a very real risk for queer men and transgender women. It also conjures up the idea of anal sex and anal rape. If someone dares to disagree with their opinions, beliefs, or blissful ignorance, they are quick to advise that someone to stop being so “butthurt” about said disagreement.īutthurt stems from the act of an adult spanking a child on the butt as a form of punishment. People, specifically those who abuse their right to use the comment section, are very bold on the Internet. But for the love of LGBTQ+ people everywhere, knock it off. You may not use these phrases very often, but you have likely said them and will likely say them again.
Even if I disagree, my place is to provide respect and space for meaningful conversations.Īs a queer person who hears and sees many derogatory words directed at people like me, I would like to do my part and educate you on things you likely say every day that are homophobic or transphobic. And if someone tells me they feel excluded or hurt by my words, I listen. But really, I am a decent human being and try to use words that don’t alienate, offend, or discriminate against others. Maybe it’s because I am a writer, but I tend to be thoughtful with my words. Sometimes we use words or phrases without fully understanding their meanings or the impact it may have on others.